Profile of a Spouse of a Male Compulsive Gambler

1. Passive dependent

2. Poor self‑image/self‑concept

3. Unrealistic expectations of a husband and marriage

4. Rescue fantasies/mold into fantasy image

5. Impressed by gambler's outgoing behavior

6. Psychologically and physically abused

7. Denial as strong as gambler

8. Family history of gambling or alcohol or substance abuse

9. Often contemplates separation/divorce

10. Fantasizing having an extramarital affair

11. Unable to manage kids

12. Feeling trapped

13. Poor interpersonal skills

14. Inconsistent discipline with children/feeling inadequate as a parent

15. Inconsistent message to husband/demanding at times

16. Often the enabler

17. Poor assertiveness skills

18. Allies with children against husband

19. Angry--resentful, depressed, anxious, confused, guilty

20. Often a spender/nothing but the best

21. Appearance most important

22. Physically neglectful

23. Few friends

24. Lack of sexual desire

25. Unresolved issues in father/daughter relationship

26. Grew up feeling inadequate

27. Experienced emotional deprivation

28. Frequently physical ailments

29. Codependent

30. Adult child of an alcoholic

From: Franklin, Joanna, M.S., C.A.C. and Thoms, Donald R., M.S., 'Clinical Observations of Family Members of Compulsive Gamblers,' Howard J. Shaffer, Sharon A. Stein, Blase Gambino, and Thomas N. Cummings, Compulsive Gambling: Theory. Research and Practice, Lexington, Mass., Lexington Books, D.C. Heath and Company, 1989.