The Wife of a Gambler
Claire never thought gambling could become a family problem. She just saw it as something for past time, something fun to do with friends and even family members. Until his husband, John, went home drunk one night – angry and depressed – with nothing left in his wallet.
Claire is one of the many wives who turned a blind eye when she first noticed her husband’s frequent visits to the casino. She had a bad feeling about it but brushed it off for fear that it might be the beginning of a huge fight between them. Now, she has realized that it was a mistake for not making it a big deal. Her husband lost a lot of money and is suffering from depression. He hasn’t been spending time with her and the kids, and sometimes he doesn’t even come home until the next day. His husband’s gambling addiction has not only become his problem but a family problem as well.
Claire is currently still trying to help her husband get over his gambling addiction problem. She has found some measures and activities that could help her husband minimize his gambling and eventually quit going to the casino. She shares some bits and pieces of what she’s been doing to keep her husband from gambling.
Her Ways to Help Her Husband
- She assured her husband that she loved her, but she hates the gambling problem. During the fights that they had concerning John’s gambling addiction problem, John told Claire that he didn’t feel her love for him anymore. This often happens especially when the problem gambler gets into depression, one of the most common mental conditions that gamblers suffer.
Claire stresses the essence of showing your husband how much you love him despite his addiction. It is the addiction you hate, not your husband. However, limitations should be set. It is true that while you love your husband, you must also protect your children from the detrimental effects of gambling, and if it comes to choosing which side you’re on, you must always choose your children.
She managed the family finances and held most of his husband’s own money as well. When her husband admitted to his gambling addiction problem, he also agreed to let Claire handle everything financially, even his own money. This helped a lot in terms of being able to pay their bills regularly and him not being able to go to the casino whenever he pleased. Well, that was after he lost his watch. Then he didn’t have anything valuable to sell. This keeps your husband from spending even the money that was meant for bills, groceries, and other needs.
She was kind and empathic to her husband. She knew that a part of her husband’s addiction was not solely voluntary. John confided that he really wanted to quit and as much as he wants to, the urge is strong. She found ways to help John forget about going to the casino. They would watch television together with the kids and she would cook up a lovely meal, and these things actually did work for John simply because he wanted to stop and he wanted to be with his family again. First, you have to have the will to stop.
- She got support for her husband. She encouraged John to seek support through communities online at first and then eventually he agreed to visit a therapist. “He’s doing tremendously well,” Claire says. Through these resources, John is able to express his deepest desires and regrets as well. Most of the online support groups are filled with people who have been gambling addicts or those whose significant others are gamblers. There he will learn that he may not be accountable for the addiction itself, but he sure is responsible for his recovery.